You might think—after a long day—that you’d be entitled to a good night’s sleep. You might be wrong. Maybe the kids are restless. Maybe it’s hard to get comfy. Maybe the kids jump up when the first bird chirps—just as you’re finally nodding off! Sleep deprivation is a nasty business, year round. According to the National Sleep Foundation, almost 60 percent of moms report waking up feeling unrefreshed several days each week. Lack of sleep affects your mood and impacts your ability to drive safely and work effectively. Now, here’s the good news: from science to scents, from fitness to food, we’ve got expert tips on how to get a healthy sleep.
Choose The Perfect Pillow
Eileen McGill, sleep concierge at the Benjamin Hotel in New York, helps weary guests get a refreshing rest by helping them choose from the hotel’s 10-item pillow menu. She says that a good down pillow works for most people—or one made from a hypoallergenic spun fiber or memory foam. Where you position the pillow is important, too. She explains that if you sleep on your back, you need support under your neck—the pillow or neck roll should fill the space between the bed and your neck. If you sleep on your side, try a five-foot body pillow—it gives your skeleton something to lean against, and it takes pressure off of your hips.
Cool Off!
Heat does make it harder to sleep, so any way you can manage it, bring your temperature down! Dr. Joyce Walsleben, a sleep expert at New York University Sleep Disorders Center and associate professor of research at New York University School of Medicine, suggests that moms take a cool shower or bath before going to bed, keep the lights low to reduce heat and dress down. If air conditioning isn’t an option, put a wet cloth over the front of a fan and let the air blow through—it humidifies and cools.
Soothe Yourself With Scents
Brigitte L'Heureux, registered aromatherapist and owner of Amphoria Aromatherapy in Victoria, British Columbia, works with time-tested remedies to help clients wind down. The most common essential oil sleep aid is lavender, which helps most people. Put a drop or two on a small hanky or make-up pad and take 18 to 20 deep inhalations. Then place the pad on your pillow as you drift off. But don't get too zealous: too much of it makes you restless. If you can't sleep because you're angry, L'Heureux suggests essential oil of bergamot. And if you wake up in the middle of the night from gnashing your teeth over a recent grievance or fretting over tomorrow's big meeting, L'Heureux recommends the calming effects of frankincense. Use these the same way you would lavender—a drop on a hanky. Make sure when you buy your essential oils, you go for the pure stuff. Oils containing synthetics could leave you with a headache. (If your children are very small, be sure the oil-infused hankie is out of reach so they can’t chew it.)
Keep Active
Judith Down, director at the Alberta Centre for Active Living, has looked at the research on the connection between sleep and physical activity and says there's evidence that if you're physically active during the day—at a moderate level—you'll have a better chance of getting a sound sleep. So what's moderate? More than ambling around the block or poking in the garden. Down explains that you'll need to work hard enough to break a sweat for 30 to 60 minutes a day. Canada's Physical Activity Guide suggests walking briskly, biking, raking leaves, swimming, dancing, or, of course, running after a toddler. And if your sleep is disrupted because of anxiety or depression, physical activity may boost your mood, too.
Calm Your Mind and Your Body
Your mind, not your body, is what usually keeps you up, says Maureen Dwight, a registered physiotherapist and director of Toronto's Orthopedic Therapy Clinic. If you can't turn off your thoughts—after all, you’re trying to figure out how you’re going to drop one child off at soccer at exactly the same time as you take another to the dentist—redirect your focus by doing a relaxation exercise. Try squeezing your fist tight and then releasing it, then go through your whole body—feet, calves and thighs—doing the same thing. With any luck, you'll have drifted off by the time you're about half done.
Perfect Posture
Toronto chiropractor Jason Twardowski stresses that since you spend eight hours a night in bed (or in the case of moms, in and out of bed) your body should be in a safe and comfortable position. It's important that your posture maintain the natural curve of the spine for those hours. The best position for sleep is on your back or side. Sleeping on your stomach can strain the neck and back. To stop sleeping on your stomach, try this: put a golf ball in a front shirt pocket – when you roll onto your stomach, it will wake you up. And if you sleep on your back, keep your arms at your sides and put a pillow under your knees to ease any strain on your back.
Create An Oasis
Certified Feng Shui consultant Grace McKnight of Mahone Bay, Nova Scotia, helps clients turn their bedrooms into serene spaces—simply walking into the room should start the relaxation process. She urges people to include colors and objects they love in the room—and to lose the office equipment and exercise bikes (guilt hangs around work and workout-related gear). Furniture arrangement can help create a supportive environment for sleep—put the head of the bed, with a solid headboard, against a wall and position it so you can see the doorway. This gives a sense of containment in the bed and a feeling of protection from behind. And when you're moving furniture around, shift the mirror. If you catch your own reflection in bed, the brain sends a warning message alerting of activity. A part of your consciousness will stay awake and aware—and this may prevent a deep sleep (or you could have dreams that rouse you through the night).
Shut Out The Light
Your family wakes up—and your day begins whether you’re rested or not! That’s because light is the controller for melatonin, the sleep hormone. When it becomes light, melatonin shuts down and we’re likely to wake up. To preserve the darkness, put shades on your bedroom windows and pull them every night (summer and winter). You don’t want to see the light at all until your alarm clock rings and it’s time to get up. Kids may be even more susceptible to daylight, so you’ll want shades for their windows, too. (This is a good arrangement for helping your baby learn about day and night—keep her most active in the light, and let her be calm and settled when it’s dark, adds Dr. Walsleben.)
Sleep-Inducing Foods
Clients often ask registered dietitian Shalene Wray of Equilibrium Nutrition in Vancouver how food affects sleep. Many think they should avoid eating before bed because it causes weight gain (that's a myth—unless you constantly binge before bed). In fact, a snack may help you drift off. A low-protein, high-carbohydrate snack or meal allows tryptophan levels to increase in the brain and in turn raise serotonin levels—this causes you to relax. Try a bowl of cereal with milk, or toast and jam.
Last Resorts
Sleep disruption sends many of us to the doctor, says Dr. Cheryl Levitt, past president of the Ontario College of Family Physicians. Your doctor might prescribe medication for insomnia (for just a few days) if you're dealing with grief or extreme anxiety before a stressful event. But it should be a last resort, she stresses. All medications that are available for insomnia have been designed to deal with acute anxiety—a short-term fix. If you take them for a long period there could be side effects, you could become dependent on them—and they stop working.